My "help" quote that I send with the boys.

"Every day you're not dead in the ground, when you wake up in the morning, you're gonna have to make some decisions. Got to ask yourself this question: "Am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools say about me today?" You hear me today? "Am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools say about me today? You hear me today?" All right? As for your mama, she didn't pick her life. It picked her. But you, you're gonna do something big with yours. You wait and see." Each day I speak to my children at night individually , quietly. I try to tell them each something that they will remember when I am gone. That they can look back on and say " my mom loved me". We are not here forever, we must instill the bond so that even when gone, they feel that love wrapped around them as tight as if we were standing there.

Matthew Sweet "Sick of Myself"

Hopelessly-hopeful Romantics

Sittiing in my room, a movie container caught my eye. Love Actually, it said. It got me to thinking. What is love, actually? It is not the same for every person, nor for every situation. Love can be what we mold it to be so that we can accomadate what we find ourselves in. Love can always be what we strive for, what we live for. For others, love can just be notion of things to come or things that have past. We all have thoughts, desires. We all have needs to be filled either physically or emotionally. Some of us can accomplish that with just having enough friends to fill the void, others need to have that total physical response. Then there are a few, a small few, that have those quiet aspirations, that linger on the impossible, possiblly those who have seen Casablanca way to many times or truly believe that somehow someone made Cinderella a glass slipper somewhere and is going to drop it in front of them at some point. That hope is not hopeless, that still wishing on that falling star may lead to happiness, closing your eyes and breathing deep when you see that someone might actually help in getting them to notice you. Hopelessly-hopeful romantics, this is what I call this group. They still exsist, I found this out. I thought they were extinct, you don't see them very often as in this day in age you don't see a lot of people being overly robust in their romantic notions, but they are out there. You just have to look. It is kind of endearing to watch, puts a little faith back into the heart of those who steeled it shut and closed it off. Maybe it makes the hopeless feel a bit more hopeful, but we won't jump the gun on that just yet.