As I sit here thinking about life,relationships, and love I have come to realize something. There is no plan, no script in which to follow. Nothing prepares you for how to feel or what to say. Oh how I wish there was. I realize that trying is not what is needed. Letting life happen is how the romance is evolved. If you just sit back and watch life roll by like the gentle breeze or the tide, you find that things come full circle, no matter how lost you think it has become. No, it may not be exactly how you pictured it but it happens. I have started to learn that putting away the hurt and the fear is the only way to find true peace within yourself. I am not completely there yet, in fact I feel I have a long, long way to go. However, I have started to let go of some of my anxiety about life and my shortcomings. I have started to understand that just breathing in and out is all that can be done on certain days. Sitting still in a dark room, closing your eyes to hear only your breath and "Sweet Baby James" sifting softly from the stereo is all that can be accomplished to keep your head above water. It is a lonely road, love and "LIKE" when you get right down to it. Not one person perceives it the same. It is a mix of emotions and ideas that can get jumbled so quickly. Some perceive it as a gift, some perceive it as a curse. Sometimes, both. In the end, we all find it and embrace it. Whether it be for a lifetime or for just a few moments. Which ever it is, I think that at this point in my life I am better prepared to handle which ever comes down my sandy, palm lined path. I will be sitting in the beach chair, watching the waves calmly roll in, waiting for a chance at my "happy". I do not know how or why that will happen. Maybe it won't. All I can say is " Here's Lookin' at you Kid' when it does.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
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4 comments:
Sounds Like the break did you good , When we rush along to find something special in life we can be so blinkered in trying to reach the goal we miss some of the best of the best that were at the side of lifes road.
Glad to see your writing style has changed as your writing seems to reflect your state of mind so well
steve
Things change at such a rapid pace. I still feel the same way some of the time, but I have been looking at the silver lining a bit more lately.
I'm glad your ok and your computer is ok as well, Jo When I got divorced in 2000 at the grand old age of 50 I swore off women for life and had plans to get my websites up and running enough to let me live as a beach bum in Bali for the rest of my natural.
I set myself up in a little flat in Bristol and gave myself 18 months to achieve my goal , I didn't go out cos that would have meant interacting with others ( I suppose looking back I would have been considered a sad old git ) but life never works out as you plan and I never did get back to Bali and met someone on line very accidently while helping in a chat room for people with PC problems.
And the rest as they say is history
chin up girl
steve
Well, I am one of the very few lucky ones who can accept life for what it is. Yes, I take a few hits now and then, but its life. If it were easy, then it wouldn't be worth living. My life is finally becoming what I have always wanted it to be. Do I have tears, time to time, sure. Who doesn't really? Is it lonely, of course. Life can be lonely for everyone though. I just take everything one step at a time. If I am meant to have happiness in other forms other than what I have, then it will come to me I suppose. For now, I just go and sit and talk to the animals at work...They cannot talk back, they always listen, and only nature can take them away!
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